Hello, I'm Yuwei from Hechi, Guangxi. I'm a junior college student currently job hunting in Shenzhen, and it's not going smoothly. It's been a month since I came to Shenzhen. I basically send out resumes every day, but the number of interviews I've had can be counted on one hand. I even almost got scammed a few times. However, I feel that going to interviews, no matter what kind, is better than lying in my rented room. Although most resumes disappear like stones sinking into the sea with no response, I haven't given up. Every time I open the job app and see any reply, even if it's just one message or a "Hello, you're not suitable for this position!", I feel happy.
Before these past few days, I was very anxious. Honestly, anxiety has been following me like a shadow these years. It seems I never learned how to live, always putting hopes and expectations on the future. Recently I've slowly started thinking – I want to enjoy my current life. Listening to audiobooks has relaxed me a lot and helped me think calmly. Honestly, this feeling is amazing!
I remember the flags I set at the beginning of the year: develop healthy habits, study English, find a job, save money, etc. (There were a few others that now seem unrealistic). Several months later:
Healthy habits: I almost always stay up until midnight, eat irregularly, and haven't stuck to exercising – though at least I still keep the afternoon nap habit.
English study: I don't have a learning method and don't want to memorize vocabulary. You could say I'm learning randomly.
I think I'm putting too much pressure on myself. The book I listened to yesterday gave me some awakening: setting unachievable goals is itself a form of anxiety. I should first see myself clearly, figure out my current position, talk to myself, talk to anxiety, and understand what I truly want and need. Right now, I think what I need is to read/listen to more books to understand myself, then maintain physical and mental health before making next-step plans. (Actually, I still don't want to work so soon – I want to enjoy some free time. Of course, if I find a job I'll accept it.)
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